Love & Hate Relationship With The Rain

Created a new YouTube channel for my travel videos – Girls On Global Adventures , Check it out! I post new videos weekly. I am currently traveling through Southeast Asia.

Here I am in my indoor hammock, stuck at home because it’s raining. It couldn’t be more perfectly timed just when I’m feeling blue. So there I was watching droplets of rain as they create ripples on the ground. Not realizing I have been staring blankly at the pouring rain. How could this rain be so beautiful yet so painful inside.

My mind was somewhere else. It was traveling back in time. To that moment when two souls crashed a shed to let the rain pass by. Two happy souls full of unspoken feelings, hopeful for better future. There, we were all smiles sharing stories of our silly childhood years trying to know each other in a deeper perspective. Laughing at how different our culture are.

The rain did stop, but not long enough it started pissing down proper hard and had to crash another shed. Read poems that relates to what we exactly feel; loud laughters and warm smiles, beautiful penetrating stares, I miss those. We were just waiting for the rain to stop, we didn’t realize we were making a bitter- sweet memory then.

Rain never fully stopped, it turned into tiny droplets and we had to drive back. Warm hug from my back, grasping hands on my stomach, life never been this better. The warmth, it felt like home. We were cruising under the droplets of rain, running over 70kph, I never felt so happy. It was a bliss. Then the silly argument involving mispronunciation and childish behaviour. It ruined everything.

Minutes of not talking, minutes turned hours and the rain never stopped. And so was my sadness. Morning came and there you were, with me but just not the same. We were just lying in bed, heart beats in unison, staring blankly at the ceiling, not breaking the mood, as we listened to Take Me on repeat, it was a heavy feeling. Both thinking of the impending separation. Both realizing sepanx was real. Now spoken feelings trapped inside the four corners of the room, trying to break havoc. outside wasn’t any better typhoon was inevitable.

The last night together…

We were being spontaneous trying to spend as much time together as we could, shared cigarette sticks, stolen kisses, secret glances, hammock shenanigans, messy sheets, hint of tequila on your tongue, fingers intertwined, naughty grins, heartfelt giggles, cold hands on my nape, lingering touches, warm breathes, fingers playing with your hair, peck on the nose, fingers tracing your face, natural scent, deep kisses, warm hugs, palpitations, soft whispers – I love you’s. It was heaven on earth!

I blinked once and suddenly pulled back to reality. I swear it felt so real, it all seemed like yesterday only that it was ages ago. I completely zoned out, and for a couple of minutes I am immobile. To then realise that my face is drench with tears. Its still raining, I’m still feeling blue, you’re still not here. I sobbed.

Rain has never been my best friend, for a lost soul like me I dreaded rain only because it ruins plans, and it makes me stay in one place which gives me massive time to think. But rain as previously implied, is both beautiful and depressing. And as much as I want to hate it, I just can’t cause it reminds me of those lovely moments with you. No matter how bitter-sweet those memories were, no matter how much tears I cried every time I look back to it. Those were my precious moments with you, our moments together, we were happy, ecstatic even. We were in love, but just not meant to be.

We love each other that’s for sure, Just may be not the right amount of love. Just may be not the kind of love that is strong enough to move mountains. But I miss you, been missing you, will be missing you, and yano I love you.

Year 2015 : Please Be Good To Me

I’m not much of a New Year’s Resolution type of person, but I do believe that New Year brings us opportunity to start anew, a chance to do what we failed to do from our last year’s list, a new beginning, and a greater opportunity for greater achievements. And so for this year I will make a change and make a list of what I should have done years ago. This will become an outline of what my year 2015 is going to be.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3907.jpg
1. Eat More Healthy Foods – As much as possible, I will try to eat one healthy meal per day and be conscious of my daily food intake. I have noticed for the past years that I have become chubbier each year and each year I am anxious to look at myself in the mirror and see a completely different person than I once was during college days. Thin, sturdy and healthy person.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3910.jpg
2. Be More Fit – I will regularize my exercise habits. Jog more often, stretch some muscles, and play more lawn Tennis. I should engaged into a sport where I can sweat more and burn more calories. I aim to restore the body I used to have back when I was very active to full contact sports and lawn tennis. I missed my abs, my biceps, and my sturdy body.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3911.jpg
3. Be more time conscious – Time is money; a second loss, is a loss of money. Be more time conscious and be early on scheduled meetings and get together. Anticipate traffic and allocate extra time for travelling. Time is the most precious gift you can give to someone.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_0260.jpg
4. Travel More Often – Yes it is a fact that traveling costs a lot of money, and unless you are earning more than what you need you can travel as much as you want. But for me, being an average person earning an average monthly paycheck travelling is big a deal for me. I believe that travelling is a very essential part of living, It is what lets you experience and learned things that not taught in the four corner of the classroom. It teaches you to be wise, it enables you to do the things you never done before and it opens your eyes to endless possibilities. I resolve to continue what I started two years ago, Travelling to places I never been to before and exploring my country. Travelling aboard is on my list too, But I guess it would have to wait. I haven’t been able to travel half of the island of the Philippines, I still have a long way to travel.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3923.jpg
5. Less Coffee, More Green Tea – In connection to being more fit, as much as possible I will decrease my caffeine in take and be more fond of drinking tea instead. Although they both have good benefits, according to the articles I read. But I would prefer tea over coffee for some personal reasons, and as per articles tea have more benefits that relates to being more fit and healthy. Since being more fit and healthy are the top two in my list, it is just right to choose tea.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3922.jpg
6. Quit Smoking – last year I was almost successful on quitting smoking, for almost three months I survived not lighting a single-stick of cigarette then some circumstances revealed itself, and I got tempted to have a puff, one more puff, some more puff, and more, that’s when I got back to square one. Although I am not a chain smoker, I’m not even a daily smoker. But when I smoke specially when I’m hanging out with friends I tend to smoke a lot. Like “a lot” a lot. And so for this year, I will try my best to really lessen, if I can’t stop my smoking habit. But it would be very fulfilling if I can totally stop smoking, though.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3924-1.jpg
7. Drink Less Alcoholic Beverages – you know I’d like to put “stop drinking alcoholic beverages” but who Am I kidding. I’m being realistic here, you can’t stop things like that. There are lots of reasons why we should drink every now and then, evidently it defeats the idea of stop drinking. It is a very good way of socializing, closing deals, meeting new acquaintances, drowning your sorrows and problems, most importantly I think when you get drunk, like wasted drunk – it brings out the honestly in you, like you can cry your heart out. And you really don’t care coz you’re having a good time and nobody can take that away from. Yes there’s a lot of cons to that, but there’s no harm in getting wasted once in a while. Hence, my 7th resolution, drink less.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3925-0.jpg
8. Save More, Spend Less – Last year was rather a low year for me, in terms of savings. I had a lot of unwise spending and impulsive purchases, although it was all worth it I guess I could have been more wise and bought things that are more valuable. But enough of the “what could have & What If’s”, and so for 2015 and the years to come. I aim to be more wise in spending and purchasing things. To weigh the pros and cons of each purchase, and to really decide if I really need it, or is it just for luxury. This is in connection to my fourth resolution, in order for me to travel more I should have enough savings and budget to do so.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3926.jpg
9. Be More Loving & Caring – I aim to be more loving, Caring, understanding, patient, giving, and to be always full of positive vibes to share.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3927.jpg
10. Be More Generous – The best feeling of happiness is when you’re happy because you’ve made somebody else happy. Nothing really beats the feeling of happiness you feel when ever you reach out and help someone. This year and to the years to come, I aim to help more people; give food to those who are hungry, clothes to those who have nothing to wear, or even the simplest act of kindness can go along way. Just because I don’t have much, doesn’t mean I cannot help others in my own little way. I know I have touched some lives, and the feeling of fulfillment will forever linger.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3929.jpg
11. To Show Appreciation To The People Who Loves Me – One of the things that I will change this year is to be more appreciative of the people who surrounds and love me. To show them that I am aware that they exists and I am very grateful to be able to spend some time with them and share some memories together. I will be more transparent and tell them once in a while that I love them and that I care for them. I may not be very vocal and sometimes can get so insensitive and thoughtless, but I can be very emotional at times. I wish I can put into one single word and tell it to them, how happy I am for being a part of there lives, and them to mine.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/1cf/80396601/files/2015/01/img_3931.jpg
12. Have More Love, Faith & Hope – To be more faithful to our creator, to be forever thankful for the things that I have, the people that I’m with, for all the opportunities, the second chances, all the blessings, the challenges and hardships, for all the things that He made possible. For giving me another year to live and always believing in my potential. To Him that in spite of all my wrong doings, failures and sins; have always been there for me. Silently looking out for me and guiding me to the right path. To God almighty, who makes all things possible.

Photo credits to:
definitivespablog.blogspot.com
biokeniticspt.com
askaboutsports.com
usefulbeautifulhome.com
zacta.com
imagineyourselfthere.com
The Bucket List Life
hypnoticliquor.com
etftrends.com
therevolutionchurch.me
mydearvalentine.com
tailoredwellness.net