This Is Me Officially Giving Up

This is me officially giving up on you, and I am sorry. I am sorry for myself because I have always been positive about stuff considering the circumstances, But right now I can’t anymore. I just can’t. I am sorry for myself because I feel like I am trapped in that little corner no one could escape. I am sorry for myself because I dont think I still have option. I am sorry for myself because this feels like not meant to be.

Ive always been a strong believer of whats meant to be, it will be. But this one feels nothing like that, this ones souned like a screwed up situation right from the start. Its funny how I lasted this long, Im quite gutted of myself of how possitive I was before and right now I am far from being one. Right now, I am the complete opposite of me when it started.

Maybe I was just blown away of your presence, of the way you made me feel when we’re together, of the way you treated me and the way you adored me. And looking back, I couldn’t help but shed tears thinking what could have happened if that incident didnt happen in the first place. I could just imagine you staying, we travelling together, making memories together. Us two, living a simple life together. It could have been a happy life, a life worth living.

I tried to be strong, i swear I did. I tried to focus to the goal and be positive about things, I just cant anymore. Because the longer youre there in the other side of the world, the farther I feel away from you. And the lesser the feelings you have left for me. I know its just me, I am too demanding, too needy, too clingy, too much of everything really the worst. I couldn’t blame you too, you would have left all the same if youre able to witness this side of me if you’d stayed. Which brings me back to, it’s just not meant to be.

This is really sad, it is heart breaking. But the longer I stay the more hurt it’ll cause me, and I just cant take it anymore. My pride it is whats left of me, Ive pushed my limit. Over time you might have changed the course of your goal of which I am not part anymore, that is sad quite frankly. I would have give up everything just to be with you, perhaps thats not an option as well at the moment. And again it is heart breaking.

No matter how short it was, I hope somehow I really did make an impact. And please do not forget me, I will always be the “awesome” one, not in every aspect of life but at least some part of it. I’ll get over this soon enough. But right now I love you, good bye.

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