Category Archives: Break up

Memories Of You

I was cleaning my room when i saw a shoe box of our memories, i wonder if we ever bump into each other again, should i ask you “do you remember how crazy we were for each other?” how i adored the natural glow in your skin and the love in your eyes every time i said your name and kissed your cheeks, that chubby cheeks, i remembered. all i ever wanted was to hold your hand every single minute of ever single day even when i was working i imagined myself holding your hands. your hands that held my lungs my bones my heart.. every piece of my living. i lived for you. remember? how i grew into you and you grew into me. remember? you were like my favorite sweater i never checked if you fit i just wore you every single day and pretended you look so good on me. remember our planned adventures? that no matter how life threatening it could be as long as there’s you and me we’d cheat death and breathe for each other. and once upon a time i use to draw one thousand maps on your back while you’re asleep and each map will lead us back home to each other but now that home smells like burning and im sill learning how not smell you in every cup of coffee and in every vanilla scented room. i still remember you when im making cheesecakes or making business plans. i still needed you to be there for me and call me when things get so cranky. but in the end you held my tears like they were salt on your wounds, promises not kept, every time i wept it’s for everything, between our first kiss and me scrapping your shattered love songs on the floor sobbing, begging please.. we got this let’s just give it one more chance. we can get through this. if you don’t believe me look at the scars i carved on my own skin to remind me that blood is nothing compared to heartbreak. but you looked at me loveless and with shotgun words you killed me there. i learned that when your heart broke faster than the speeding bullet it hurts a whole lot more than a hundred bombs exploding. and if id ever be given a chance to tell how i felt id tell you i love you and mean it for the very last time. and with and smile on my face and the love in my heart i wish you all the happiness i could never give. #letter #forgivemefordoingthis

#anniversaryfeels

An Open Letter To My Ex: This Is How Hurt I Was When You Left

What you did to me — was something I did not expect from you. All I ever did was love you. I prioritized your happiness over mine; even over to my family. I gave you my full attention, but all those years I am just a decoration in your life, a hidden secret. Because I loved you too much over the span of 3 years. It was a life of constant pain but it was okay coz I love you. And the pain of losing you is unbearable compared to the physical and emotional pain you’ve caused every now and again.

But the one time that I caused you too much pain you use it against me, You probably made it the reason for you to think its okay to seek comfort from other people. Or maybe that’s what you’ve been telling yourself, that it’s okay to move on from me coz I’ve caused too much pain. That was 1 time, I thought we were stronger than that, i had faith in our relationship. You used to tell me you’re not that kind of person who gets into relationship that easily after previous relationship, I trusted your words.. I trusted you. 

But clearly that’s not the case anymore because now you’re with someone else. And while you’re happy with that person, I am here trying to salvage the pieces of my broken heart. I am here crying myself over someone that doesn’t deserve my tears. You told me to be happy, if it was very easy to be happy after what you did I would have chosen to be just that. But it’s very difficult, because the pain is overwhelming and it is what I’ve been feeling for the past 3weeks. And yes you told me it’ll be easier for me to get over you because I have new set of friends, I hope it’s that easy but who am I kidding. But that’s what you’ve been telling yourself right? To make you feel better, that I’ve got them so I should be fine. What else have you been telling yourself to justify your actions? To free yourself from guilt? That I have changed? Is that makes you feel okay of what you are doing to me right now? That I have somebody else in my life too? You know me better than that. And I wouldn’t be this hurt and angry if indeed I have somebody else in my life.

But keep on telling yourself that, to make you feel good. Because thats what you always do, and you’re very good at it — being selfish. Good luck to both of you, good luck to your future because unless you’ll change your attitude towards people, your personality, the way you think. You will always end up unsatisfied and unhappy. So enjoy the moment while that person doesn’t know the real you, because the moment that’s person discover who you really are, that person will realize how sickening you are. That beneath that facade you perfectly put up, is a rotten individual. Because you value other people’s opinion more than the people that matters.

I have to hand it to you though, you’re one gutsy person. You even blocked me. D’you think I will run after you this time? After what you did? My friends are right, it’s better to get rid of the toxic people in my life as early as now, and I really think my life would be better without you. I should be with people who will support me and will encourage me to do great things about my life, clearly that’s not you. Because what you’ve done all these years was pull me down. You’ve became the worst critic in my life, not the kind that gave me advice to be a better person but that one who just gave ill opinion for the sake of putting my confidence down, and it shouldn’t be like that. You were like an anchor that hindered me from moving forward. I didn’t know that before because I was blinded by my feelings, but now I can clearly see things. You are not worthy of my undying devotion. Time will come I will thank you for doing this to me, for breaking my spirit, for crashing my heart. But not today, no. Today I will bitchslap you with the truth!!

Enjoy your moment with that person because I know for sure that’s temporary, or If you’ll end up with together, well and good. Your welfare and happiness , or your image is the least of my concern now. So don’t ask me to promise something to you, because you’re not in the position of asking favors from me now. Continue looking over you’re shoulder, because people will judge you. And I won’t be there to give assurance anymore because am not obliged to make you feel better. The truth will eventually come out sooner or later and good luck! Karma is a bitch, it will catch up on you very soon. I’m so done with you now. 

If anything, thanks for the 3years of being with you. It was longer than I expected it to last. You’re always be my dream come true, even when it turned out to be a nightmare. And literally, t’was hell of a ride. Thanks for the memories though it was not all bad. This is my last piece of the puzzle before I move on. Now live your life the way you wanna live it. And good riddance. 

You Lost Her

You lost her.

For all you thought, you need a new place to stay,
But you did not realize that your home is where her smile is at.
You thought someone can make you happier,
But you did not realize that her laugh is what makes you the happiest.

You thought someone came to be your sun,
But you did not realize that she is your moon that lights you up in your darkest night.
You thought someone’s sweeter than her,
But you did not realize that she is the cause of your most painful toothache that’s worth suffering for.

You thought that just because someone can give you her everything, she’s better than her.
But you did not realize, she had already given the last piece of her.
And you thought that you’re already in love with someone else but you… You forgot that you’ve already given your heart to her. And that’s when you realize that she still has it.

Yes, you lost her.
But then you realized, you also lost yourself.

Words by  : Mayel Tapic
Originally posted at: Betsin-artparasites  fb page
Art By: Ruth Esther Tejano Lobo

 

 

Heartbreaks, Heartaches, Headaches : The Sound of a Broken Heart

Do you ever know how heartbreak sounds like? It’s like a missed kiss on your cheek before the alarm goes off. It sounds like the morning shower never taken. It sounds like a cooked breakfast for two taken by one. It’s sounds like the lack of voice saying your name plus the word beautiful in one sentence. They say you’d get that gut feel when a relationship is about to go down the drain.

I didn’t only had that gut feel, I have that feeling in my entire body, from the hairs on my arms, to my skin, down to my bones. The feeling of sadness seeps through my body down to my very soul. Most of the time i lay on my bed, eyes unfocused as Igazed at the ceiling, the past and the future a blank.

Waiting for that knock on the door that never really came. It was oppressive, suffocating – so quiet thatit eventually became a roar that drowned out everything else. I feel myself shrinking, like a sand castleslowly being washed away with every wave.

My mom is lecturing me while her eyes full of pity. Better days are coming she says. Days are breaking in all it’s new found glory yet, all i can think about is the past. Why didn’t you ever tell me that the foundation you taught me to stand on is made fromquicksand?

How can i ever get pass this roaring silence and numbing pain? I hope this downward spiral life will find an uphillslope soon.

© Lourdel Ludovica – everything’s gonna be alright, eventually. Hang on there my friend.

Song Review : Getting a Deeper Meaning to the Song “Into the Blue” by Sarah Jackson-Holman

Artist : Sara Jackson-Holman
Song : Into The Blue
Album : When You Dream

If only if only I coulda been yours
Been your rapport and yours to adore
If only if only I would’ve said yes
Forgotten the rest oh I could’ve said yes
If only if only you’d ask me again
I’d give you my hand
Let you take me
across the sand

Into the blue
And faded world of my daydreams
I feel I’m falling deeper everyday
Melting away down a dark and endless abyss
I’m grasping at straws and I’m chasing the wind
As I fall on my face over and over again
If only if only I had the luxury of retrospect
Sounds like you’re speaking some sort of foreign dialect
If only something precious as time had a price
Instead of endlessly taking its toll on my soul
Oh so many if onlys running through my mind
What ifs and storybook endings time after time
If only if only you coulda been mine
I’d take you

Into the blue
And faded world of my daydreams
I feel I’m falling deeper everyday
Melting away down a dark and endless abyss
I’m grasping at straws and I’m chasing the wind
As I fall on my face over and over

Into the blue
And faded world of my daydreams
I feel I’m falling deeper everyday
Melting away down a dark and endless abyss
I’m grasping at straws and I’m chasing the world
As I fall on my face over and over again

My Skinny Love – Dissecting the meaning of the Song “Skinny Love” by Bon Iver

“When You’re happy, you enjoy the music. When you’re sad, you understand the meaning”

For Parch who wrote this interpretation, Thanks!

Disclaimer : This is not my interpretation, I am merely publishing what I saw in the internet while I was searching for the meaning of the song “Skinny Love”, I came a cross to this interpretation at songmeanings.com/songs/view/3530822107858674644/  Parch, the one who wrote his thoughts about this song, thanks I believe your interpretation is far more close than to those I read on the same site.

I gotta say, I’ve listened to most of the versions of this song, and I have to say that Birdy’s version is technically fine, but it just sounds like a sad girl singing a song. The version of this that Bon Iver sings on Jools is by far the best. He’s not just sad, but he captures the essence of a failing relationship. You can just feel the anger, depression and desperation in his voice when he sings it. With that said, this is my interpretation.

First, I believe skinny love to just mean a relationship where the love has faded and the relationship is weak. But I believe the proper term should be “anorexic love”, because he is trying to inject all the love he can into the relationship, but it seems as if she keeps rejecting it, and letting the love waste away.

Come on skinny love just last the year

**He may be talking to the figurative relationship, or he may be actually talking to his girl, but I think he’s just begging for the relationship to last a little longer. He knows it won’t work out because she can’t nurture the love, so he’s just begging that it last long enough so that he can prepare himself for the inevitable breakup.

Pour a little salt we were never here
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

**They must have just had a big fight and he’s just asking to pretend it never happened. Just pour salt to help the wound heal, and pretend they were never they’re fighting. Then he starts surveying that damage done in the relationship. Its like if you’ve been punched in the mouth, you run to the sink to wash up and you’re spitting out blood and teeth into the sink. The interesting thing is veneer is what you use for fake teeth, but it’s also a term to describe polishing something to make it look better than it really is.

So “crushed veneer” is also another was to say that his view of how good and awesome he may have thought the relationship was, has just been crushed.

I tell my love to wreck it all, Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

****He knows the break is going to happen so he’s trying tell himself to cut off his emotions and fall out of love so it won’t hurt as bad.

Right in this moment this order’s tall

***A tall order is another way of saying you are asking too much out of something. As much as he want’s to cut his emotions, he know’s it’s not a feat he can carry out. He loved her too much and knows he can’t just fall out of love right on the spot.

And I told you to be patient, And told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced, And I told you to be kind

***These are the things he’s been asking his love to do, and if she would just do them, the relationship would’ve lived and been perfect. Notice in this instance, kind means her just being nice to him, but then. . .

In the morning I’ll be with you, But it will be a different “kind”

****He knows when he wakes up the next morning with her, everything will be different. He’ll be with her, but it will be a different “kind” of being with her. In other words, he’ll be physically next to her, but not as a couple. Also it means that she will be kind to him, but not in a loving way, but more of a kindness that comes out of pity, because she is trying to let him down easy.

I’ll be holding all the tickets, And you’ll be owning all the fines

***As someone else said, basically he’s holding all the memories and punishments for the relationship, while she makes out like a bandit with the fine money so to speak. In other words, he left feeling shitty about what has happened, while she wont care as much and sees the break as getting her freedom back.

Come on skinny love what happened here, Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere

***This one’s kinda tough. I think he’s just pleading with his love to feed off whatever little hope there is left in the relationship. Babies suckle, but if it’s a light brassiere then that means there’s not much in that bra to suck on. Basically, he’s pleading with his love to just stay with him a little longer and just hope she will love him more.

Sullen load is full; so slow on the split

**Sullen means kinda like beat up and moving slow. So I think that’s the skinny, malnourished love they had. They aren’t breaking up in some passionate way, it’s just that the love is dying slowly, hence, slow on the split (up).

And now all your love is wasted? And then who the hell was I?

****He’s saying that if the breakup happens, any love she managed to have for him is wasted. He feels like her love was all that ever mattered, and that anything good he felt about himself was because of that great feeling being loved gives you, so he defined himself through her love and the relationship. As a result, if her love was just a big waste, what does that make him?

And now I’m breaking at the britches

***Him breaking at the britches just means he’s falling apart now.

And at the end of all your lines

***Just imagine her as a metropolitan bus line and now he’s at the end of any line that bus could take him. He can’t even transfer to another bus because there are no more buses that will take him any further.

Who will love you? Who will fight? Who will fall far behind?

***Now he’s just wondering who will love her and fight for her as hard as he was willing to, and he believes that most of the men she will date will just fall behind in deserving her love.

Anyways, this song is very personal to me because I went through pretty much the same emotions as he did about a year ago. Love sucks sometimes.

10 Signs Of Falling Out Of Love : When Love Fades

Falling in love is the best feeling you could ever imagine, but what if that feeling fades and you’re at the receiving end of that relationship. What would you do? How would you feel? Guess you’ll cross the bridge when that happens, I Supposed. You’re lucky if you can sense in advance what’s about to happen and you can prepare yourself from the inevitable breakup. You can start letting go, start moving on even though it hadn’t even happened yet, it’s just a matter of time. What’s left for you to do is to wait, to when she decide to drop the bomb straight to your face. And then you can cry a river, but know when to stop and start put back together the broken pieces. In the end it’s not how you breakdown that matters, it’s how you get up, broken but stronger. It is always better to be ready to anything that could happen in a relationship, loving someone is a gamble, and you don’t get to win all the time. You have to play your cards right and better play it wise. It’s your emotion that’s at stake, it’s your heart that you bet. Learning how to read between the lines is very essential to every relationship. She’s probably been throwing signs and signals but you’re just too insensitive to notice or may be you’re in denial. For this article I will list down 10 probable signs that she’s falling out of love for you, or did she ever love you?

2015/01/img_4285.jpg1. Sexual activities became slim to none – When two people are in love they share their body, life, and heart with each other. Let’s not be a hypocrite here, it is very essential in every relationship to engage in sexual activities, the fact that it has lessen or worst totally stopped, is a giveaway that there’s something wrong with your relationship.

2015/01/img_4287.jpg2. Facebook status hidden – yeah it’s kinda funny when we talk about fb status, it seemed very childish to make a big deal out of it. But in reality, it is really big a deal. C’mon it’s the new generation people are very updated in social media and the likes. Changing “Relationship status visible to friends” to “Relationship status visible to yourself” is a punch to the face.

2015/01/img_4289.jpg

3. No more I love you, I miss you, and Take Care – vocal expressions of your feelings can make any day brighter and complete, but having someone special and not hearing those three words can bring doubts and endless questions. Or are you puzzled why you always have to say it first and you have to wait for her response. The worst is if she did respond but lacks convection while saying it. Where’s the sincerity in it, where’s the fire that you used to have.

2015/01/img_4291.jpg4. Silly arguments about silly things – sure there’s no perfect relationship and arguments will always have their times, but arguments due to silly reasons is unacceptable. It’s both hilarious and stupid. First time, second time it can be fun, but when you do it more often, it’s exhausting and such waste of time.

2015/01/img_4293.jpg5. Swearing – when your argument takes a notch higher to a point where you start cussing each other, saying expletives words. It causes loss of self-respect and self-esteem.

2015/01/img_4295.jpg6. When cuddling, kisses and good night are long gone – showing affection right before going to sleep is very important to loving couples, it gives them a security and sense of excitement knowing that you’re to wake up the next day with her by your side. But without this, it gives you sleepless nights and may torment you knowing about the possibility of waking up the next day alone and shattered.

2015/01/img_4297-1.jpg7. No text message, not even a missed call – of course outside your relationship you have your own life at work, and sometimes it can be very exhausting that you can’t even eat your meal. A single text message can make a long way though, even just to say you arrived at the office safely or you’re having a break. It is very touching knowing that somewhere, someone is thinking of you and that she cared.

2015/01/img_4299-2.jpg 8. Show no interest in your daily activities – when you go home after work it is necessary to discuss how both you’re day have been, it just shows that your interested to know the things you did the entire day. Without this, it shows that you don’t care and you don’t give a crap on how her day went. You don’t care that much to ask.>br />
2015/01/img_4301-1.jpg9. Forgets special dates – it is a cardinal rule in every relationship to always take note of the occasions and dates that are special to both of you. Forgetting anniversaries and birthdays is very disappointing and hurting, it’s as if you don’t care. People that are very in love with each other always try to make her partner feel special and appreciated.

2015/01/img_4304-0.jpg10. Makes fun of your faults – the worst thing a person can do to her partner is making fun of his faults, and embarrass him in front of other people, specially around friends. Mocking him for the things he cannot / failed to do. Partners suppose to support each other and lean on each other, they should watch each other’s backs.

2015/01/img_4306.jpgIf these things seem familiar to you, You! Yes, you! Make a move, may be it’s not too late to work things out. You should salvage, what is worth salvaging. You’ve invested a lot for your relationship, it’s such a waste if you won’t take the chance, the chance to keep your relationship and make things right. But you should know better the next time, be more sensitive, girls tend to say things they don’t really mean, sometimes you just have to read between the lines. Worse comes to worst, you have to let go. You have to learn to un-love her, bury that feeling 6ft deep. And when you fall in love again, you know better and it is all worth the hurt.

Photo Credits :
datedialogue.com
wikigag.com
andrewandshaadi.blogspot.com
dreamstime.com
idealliquorbuffalo.com
tovesinterior.bloggnorge.com
eatingmanna.com
weddingclan.com
thekev19.blogspot.com
nerdict.com
rapgenius.com